Kicking and Screaming

14 Mar

Publicity in women is detestable. Anonymity runs in their blood. The desire to be veiled still possesses them.  ~ Virginia Woolf

Enough Already!!! Thank you all for your concern and caring. I am here, I am well. I am happy. I am healthy. Thank you.

I have been posting on a regular basis. I have posted many succinct, humourous and entertaining and enlightening posts. Did you miss them? I wouldn’t be surprised. Most of them were only up for a matter of seconds before I had second thoughts and tore them back down. Delete. Delete. Delete.

Why? Because people I know read this blog. People who get upset with me when I write how I feel. People who don’t really want to hear what I have to say. I get e-mails accusing me of all sorts of things. I get my words thrown back at me, complete with re-wording and liberal interpretations.

I literally feel like my fingers have been chopped off. I find myself editing everything that I have written which, when all is said and done, leaves me with nothing left to say.

Oh, how I wish I had never told anyone about this blog. I would have a nice little blog-world in which my readers would not have my e-mail address, my phone number or know of any conceivable way of making contact with me. We would have fun, laugh and be happy together. I would share my woes, my anger, my frustration and my sadness. And that would be that.  No recriminations or festering resentment. Only bubbles and roses.

Oh, how I wish this were an anonymous blog.

But it is not to be. I have toyed with moving my blog and giving the info to a few select readers. (You know, those ones who only leave me nice comments and boost my ego all the time… ). But what would that achieve? I would be running away from reality. This is my blog. This is me. It seems silly to go somewhere else so that I can be more me.

So here I am. Like it or loathe it,  I’m back. If you don’t like it, let me take this chance to politely tell you to lump it. Tell someone who cares… actually, on second thoughts, do tell me, but don’t expect me to care.

You had me several years ago when I was still quite naive
Well you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me
I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and…

Yes, you probably think this post is about you… don’t you… don’t you?

p.s. should there be a password protected post in the future, there will be only one password for all those posts. I will e-mail that password to all of you that I know who read my blog. Anyone else who is interested, let me know. You will not be blackballed.


8 Responses to “Kicking and Screaming”

  1. wendy March 14, 2009 at 4:11 pm #

    Rushing to work but did not want to read and run. Anger is good. cathartic. This is YOUR blog so If you feel something, write it down .offload it. If you want to…
    I for one love your writing . when you write its like I am right there with you feeling your anger,pain or your happiness or your laughter.
    I totally understand the anonimity thing at times when I feel something that I want to say but i know I cant, but as you say this is you . anonimity would be running from that and you have come so far on your self discovery.
    Take care Pia

  2. JavaQueen March 15, 2009 at 9:23 am #

    That’s exactly what I do on my blog- One password but only to the people I totally trust. Only to the people who don’t annoy me- LOL! And not to one person I work with, share DNA with, or who even know me. Because I wanna write how I feel and I do NOT want to sugar coat it. You have to be able to write without holding back or you’ll never feel a sense of satisfaction, like, “Whewww, I got that off my chest!” and that’s what blogging is all about. *To me, anyway* I like my blog friends better than my own family in most cases. They don’t judge me, they don’t put me in a little box and tell me who I am and how I have to be- I can just be myself around them and they love me regardless…..

  3. pinkyspages March 15, 2009 at 1:33 pm #

    Well said, my dear. This is YOUR blog!!! I enjoy your humour and your honesty and if you should blog no more, that would be a pity … so do continue 🙂 Hugs, xx

  4. Deirdre Hewitson March 16, 2009 at 8:12 am #

    Oh the curse of being a visionary in a small-minded world! Fuggim, I say!

    Seriously, Pia, whatever you put out there is going to come back at you somehow, and not necessarily in a way you would expect, like or want. Not everyone is going to get you. As you grow older, and more comfortable with your differentness, you learn to welcome those differences of opinion. And if you don’t welcome them, they certainly affect you less.

    Remember, people come at you from the knee-deep-in-their-own-issues position. They can’t help how they read your words – to them the layers and syntax are as they see them, not how they stand.

    Really, if people are going to be offended by what you say, maybe they should move on and read something else? They don’t have to take the time to switch on their computers and find your page, simply with the purpose to find something to get upset about!

    Enjoy your blog! There are many people who look forward to what you’re going to write next – you owe it to your audience to push on!! ; )

  5. sleepyjane March 16, 2009 at 3:02 pm #

    There are times when I feel the need to send the link of my blog to family and friends (that I know IRL) and then I read a post like this.

    I don’t know what it is about some people. That they can’t stand seeing a person outside the box they so nicely placed them in.

    To that I say screw ’em.

    Glad you’re not leaving us! 🙂

  6. Poppop March 16, 2009 at 3:06 pm #

    Yay. Pia is back. Your blog is great and I missed it. To hell with those who upset you. Be the Pia that I know and if you do decide to “go private” I hope that I get the password.
    Poppop.PS What about some nice new photographs?

  7. Susan March 17, 2009 at 10:31 am #

    YAY! I’m glad to see you back here again and promise not to take any offence to anything you write. I have also toyed with getting an anonymous blog, there are lots of things that I also feel I have to hold back on and which I don’t ever post about for fear of who’s reading. Sometimes it would be better if we didn’t know our readers personally!! Looking forward to reading your news!!

    Sue xxx

  8. Fiona March 21, 2009 at 3:27 pm #

    I suppose a blog amonst friends is like a chat amongst friends sometimes you have to bite your tongue or be sensitive to each individual’s situation. But if the folk who are taking umbrage about what you are writing don’t matter to you in any way, then write what you like. Fiona xx

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