To Here and No Further

2 Feb


How pissed off am I at the moment? SERIOUSLY pissed off is what I am. And annoyed and irritated and just plain gatvol.

And the person that pushed me off the edge? I don’t think they have a clue. I am the kind of person who lets it slide again and again. Me, I’m all about the quiet, repressed anger. But push me one last {tiny} time and it may just push me over the edge. And once I’m over the edge, I ain’t ever going to be the same way with you ever again.

I have never been the kind of person to stand up for myself. I wish I could be more verbal and more vocal when it comes to the way people treat me. But I am far too tolerant. Too understanding. Too sympathetic.  Too nice. Too sweet. It takes me a long while to muddle through things. But eventually I figure things out. Things become clearer and I start to realise that I deserve better.

And once that realisation comes, once things crystallise, it is very very difficult to get me to change my mind. I am slow to anger. Slow to action. But once that tipping point has been reached, my world shifts just a little bit and there is no going back.

Sure, I’m nice and sweet and kind. But take advantage of that, and the end is nigh my friend.


4 Responses to “To Here and No Further”

  1. Fiona February 2, 2009 at 6:55 pm #

    That is a really good rant!!!! We are like peas in a pod, toooo sweet, toooo kind, but step on my tail once too often and my “Scorpio” tail kicks in. Take a deep breath and count to 10 and remember “THIS TOO SHALL PASS”. Fiona xx

  2. wendy February 2, 2009 at 11:44 pm #

    sometimes a good harsh bit of anger is very cathartic . hope you get it out your system;)

  3. JavaQueen February 4, 2009 at 9:48 am #

    I use to be the same EXACT way. Totally, I’d suffer in silence. Let someone just screw me over…. then one day, they’d step over the line- there is always a certain line and I would BLOW THEIR DOORS OFF and they wouldn’t know what hit them. Thing is, I alienated a lot of people this way. I decided I’d rather just speak up on how I feel as it’s happening rather than to let it fester inside my gut- also, avoiding a future blow out! Oh, there were some bridges that I blew up completely and there is no going back. So, these days, I just say how I feel, as a matter of fact. At least people are starting to know where I stand and what I will tolerate. You’ll get there too…..

  4. raspberr1es February 11, 2009 at 8:30 am #

    Glad you found a way to solve it by the end, I’m still in the middle stages. =P Haven’t truly found my tipping point yet, possibly because I have the memory span of a 3 year old that I can’t remember (unless I force myself to) what others have done; that or they’re all pretty nice to me. ^^ (Hopefully the latter.)

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