Broken and Whole

17 Sep

Healing is a funny old thing isn’t it? It is only once you have been through the process of healing that you can begin to understand how it works. It’s a little bit like forgiveness in that way. Only once you have truly forgiven someone do you realise how it works, and how powerful it is to forgive.

Most people feel that forgiving means giving power to the person that hurt you. Usually, in that process of refusing to forgive, we become angry and bitter and stubborn. And when we do this, we only end up hurting ourselves  – because when we are angry or bitter, there is no room for growth, for learning, for love.

Most of us equate forgiveness with justifying the hurt. In other words, if you say that you forgive someone, this means that you are saying that what they did to you was okay. This is not what forgiveness is all about.

With forgiveness you need to realise that the act of forgiving is a choice. You have to decide to let go of the hurt that someone else has caused you. It is an act of empowerment. In this way you stop spending your energy on the other person and decide to start giving energy back to yourself.

And with forgiveness comes healing.

That being said, I am still trying to figure out for myself how to go about forgiving the people who have hurt me. I guess I will have to focus on the healing and hope that one leads to the other.

I came across this quote the other day and thought that it was too good not to share:

Healing is about opening our hearts
not closing them
Healing is about softening the places in us
t
hat wont let love in
Healing is a process
it is about rocking back and forth
between the abuse of the past
and the fullness of the present
Healing is about learning to be in the present
more and more of the time
It is the rocking that creates the healing
The purpose of healing is not to be forever happy
that is impossible
Healing is about being
broken and whole
at the same time

 

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6 Responses to “Broken and Whole”

  1. misyel September 18, 2008 at 3:54 am #

    hi pia, it’s really hard to forgive when you are hurt to your very core but you only find peace when you forgive, ‘m sure you’ll get there soon, take your time, when you are healed, forgiveness is next in line. i’m glad you are getting better in time. Take care

  2. Nanee September 18, 2008 at 8:24 am #

    So true and so beautifully written! Hoping that in time your heart will be whole again and your soul happy…… xxxx

  3. Nanee September 18, 2008 at 8:25 am #

    btw – like the new look …….

  4. JavaQueen September 18, 2008 at 8:26 am #

    Very nice post. Learning that holding a grudge against someone for hurting me was actually hurting myself was BIG. Once I turned that around, I found it easier to breathe. At one point, I was giving power to the wrong people, letting them dictate what I did, where I went… now, I will not give that away. I can only control myself and my actions. I cannot control anyone else- that is truly freeing – excellent post and written so well.

  5. Caroline September 18, 2008 at 1:35 pm #

    I love the new look of your blog!

    The quote on healing is excellent and very true. Beautiful.

  6. sandra green September 20, 2008 at 12:03 am #

    You’ve given me something to think about..but is it that easy to forgive. How do you get rid of the stone in your heart?

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