Why do I Blog??

12 Sep

Family Life asks the question and does a good job of discussing the issue.

But, being the one she is referring to – having recently posted much with innuendo – I thought I would throw in my two cents worth.

I write when I am hurt, when I am angry, when I am sad, when I am amused, when I am confused. I always have an emotion behind what I write. And the stronger the emotion, the more forceful the writing. The more intense the emotion, the more potent the writing.

Mostly, I bottle my emotions up. It is only recently, through blogging, that I am learning to let go. To show myself to others and damn the consequences. Sometimes I know that what I write has the potential to hurt others, but I try and write from a source of integrity. Integrity means a lot to me these days. I made a promise to live with integrity and I am trying to live up to that promise. I write what I feel. And I hope and trust that anyone who may take offence would know the place that I am writing from and give me a little credit for that. Recently, most posts have me writing with tears streaming down my face. So it has been a cathartic (if a little self-indulgent at times) process.

Perhaps, through this process, I will learn to edit my posts. But at the moment, with the truth I am trying to live, I only know that I need to write what I feel. Maybe in time I will decide that I don’t need to thow it all out there. But for now, I need to get it out.

I am learning a lot about truth these days. One person’s truth is not everyone’s truth. And one person’s truth can change from day to day. But I respect the opinion of others to allow them to express their truth, as long as they allow me the same latitude. I made the decision a while back not to hide my blog, even though I was sorely tempted to. I made the decision to write what was in my heart and to open it up to the world to read. I knew that by doing so I would risk hurting the people most important to me. But then, some wise person pointed out that those that matter don’t mind and those that mind don’t matter.

I don’t pretend to know all the answers, and I don’t pretend to act like a fully mature person at all times. Just like Adam, when someone shouts at me or ignores me (or takes my blanket) I want to smack or bite them back. Sometimes I get angry and want to throw my toys just like Adam does. But then, I expect other people to do the same. And then I expect us to be able to laugh about it over a pink cupcake because, at the end of it all, we get what the other person is all about. And we understand each other a little bit more.

And through that understanding there is a little bit more love in the world. And who are we to sniff at a little bit more love in the world?

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7 Responses to “Why do I Blog??”

  1. misyel September 12, 2008 at 3:13 am #

    hi pia, like you i can only write when there’s an emotion involved without it i may wont be able to write it well, the reason why i put up a blog is to express what I feel, i need to let my feelings out to cope up with everything and this is very therapeutic to me and the comments my readers also helps. I hope this will work on you too. keep writing.

  2. JavaQueen September 12, 2008 at 11:48 am #

    This is written so well Pia. All we can do is be truthful on our blog or we are lying to ourselves. I love to blog for so many reasons but like you, I have been the type of person to bottle up my feelings or “stuff them” down my whole life as a chronic people pleaser. It feels so healing to be able to open up and say how I really feel. I think I have changed so much since I began blogging because I feel like I can be exactly who I am, and the love and acceptance I have received makes me know I’m not alone in this world- and how could we sniff at love, indeed. You rock!

  3. Caroline September 12, 2008 at 1:01 pm #

    Hi honey. I agree with writing being both easier and stronger when there is emotion behind it and am glad you are letting go and expressing your emotions. I am also glad you are brave enough to share your feelings with all of us in blogland and would never suggest you, or any of us edit our posts – that was one of my points actually. Keep writing xxx
    ps: And just for the record, I wasn’t only referring to you!

  4. wendyhumble September 12, 2008 at 6:27 pm #

    I can only speak personally, but I love your blog and have never found it offensive or opinionated (how in the hell do you spell that???). As I said on Caroline’s blog we all write what we feel when we are writing with, I hope, no intention to hurt another. So keep blogging Pia. I don’t know what is happening with my screen but the writing is so small in your new blog I can hardly read it and as for the comments – I cannot read them at all. I think it is time for a new screen not the antiquated one we have!!! Fiona xxx

  5. odette September 12, 2008 at 7:45 pm #

    beautifully written pia!
    two years ago, i went through a very difficult time in my job, and looking back at it now, i realized i’ve been too hard on myself then. writing about my feelings though has made my journey towards forgiving myself a lot easier. even if nobody listened. just writing about it is release enough. when i finally overcame, i wanted to delete the blog, but later decided not to. it’s nice to look back at it and be reminded of my journey. i made the new firefly blog as a symbol of my rebirth and new-found meaning and happiness. 🙂

    {{hugs}} stay strong!

  6. Veronica September 12, 2008 at 7:53 pm #

    No offence, but I have never been more into your blog than I am now. (And believe me yours has always been one of the first I check because I adore the way you write).
    The reason being that this experience has made you open up so much more and yes it does make one vulnerable to judgement, criticism etc as caroline says, but also it is a very therapeutic process and one that brings you so much closer to those who love you.
    And besides, without your blog, a lot of us would never have known there was a problem, and then we would not be able to support you and love you through it.
    xxx

  7. King Kong September 13, 2008 at 9:01 am #

    Your poem is tremendous. The way in which you have interpretted your feelings into that of the lioness and her cub is very clever and insightful. I think that you should go into publishing. Keep writing and keep blogging. Lots of love.

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