When to Quit

10 Jun

So how do you know when to end things?

I would really, really, really like to give my book club a miss. I almost bought the Fair Lady/Femina last week because its cover grabbed me: “how to ditch your Book Club”.

Seriously, these people drive me nuts. I mean, I love them, but seriously. If they had their way, it would start at 6:30 and be over by 7:30. I’m lucky if I get a drop of wine and they usually only open one bottle… and I do one bottle a day an evening an hour.

Also, I’m not much of a conversationalist. But next to these people, I am positively scintilating: Rush in, quick nervous run-round of how-have-you-beens and then they all start looking at their watches muttering about babysitters and early mornings. I.mean.seriously.

So I was on the verge of breaking up with them. But then if you stick around long enough, every once in a while, you learn something new. Something that makes it all worthwhile. In this case, it was earth shattering enough for me to hang around indefinitely on the off chance that I may come across another morsel of can’t-do-without info in the future.

What did I learn? Gather closer my children…

I learnt about Tim Tams. Dear Lord. My life will never be the same again. My apologies if all of you know about these, but this is for all of you virgins out there. And for those of you who know… WHY DID YOU KEEP THESE FROM ME???

Tim Tams MUST be ingested by doing the Tim Tam Slam. I tell you no lies. Check Wicki.

What you do is this: (and follow these instructions precisely). Buy yourselves a packet. Pick ‘n Pay have them right at the top of the biscuit shelf. Buy the dark chocolate one (or whichever strikes your fancy). Make yourself a cuppa. Tea or Coffee. Don’t matter. Now this is the important part… nibble off a little bit at each end. Then dip one end into the cuppa and suck from the other end. I am being serious folks. When you feel the liquid enter your mouth, quickly pop the whole thing in your mouth.

YOUR LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.

You can all send me a packet of Tim Tams as your grateful thanks for forever enriching your lives.

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8 Responses to “When to Quit”

  1. Family Life June 10, 2008 at 8:28 pm #

    lol this post made me laugh and thanks for the imagery. I have tasted the divine things and am already a biscuit addict, so needless to say I agree with you and write this with a mouth that would give Pavlov’s dogs a run for their money.

    My mom found out about them from her hairdresser (another great sauce of information!). xxx

  2. Wendy June 10, 2008 at 9:32 pm #

    aaa tim tams. never heard of them. are you about to ruin my diet Ms Geach???

  3. JavaQueen14 June 11, 2008 at 4:44 am #

    “Gather closer my children” you had me on the edge of my seat. I’ve never seen TimTams. I live in the usa, I’ll have to google it and see if and where they are available. You are funny!

  4. sleepyjane June 11, 2008 at 7:55 am #

    *wavws to Javaqueen up top*

    I also haven’t heard about them…will have to try that!

  5. purpleronnie June 11, 2008 at 1:44 pm #

    I am on my way to the shops now..

    Brilliant post.. loved it!

  6. Sue June 12, 2008 at 7:49 am #

    I’ve tried it!! It was years ago and Tim Tams aren’t the cheapest biscuits on the shelves. Added to that, once you open the packet, they’re gone within about 15 seconds. They are delicious and you have to eat them the way Pia’s described. They kinda crumble as the liquid moves through them – divine!!!! I am going to buy some for Jake tonight!!!

    XXX

  7. Tenakim June 12, 2008 at 2:26 pm #

    Hi, just stopping by- thanks for the encouragement on my bad night- hope your little guy’s boo boo is healing well! Totally relate to your “about me’ in your profile!

  8. Lailaa June 12, 2008 at 6:44 pm #

    LOL 🙂 Haven’t heard of Tim Tams, but you sure made my mouth water… will have to check our supermarket to see if you can get them over here… Hugs, xx

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