Just call me Slacker…

21 May

I don’t know if you are aware of it or not… but there are a few buzz words floating around the internet these days…

Have a look. Everyone probably knows someone who fits into each category.

Firstly we have the ALPHA mom. There is even a website dedicated to the Alpha Mom. An Alpha Mom is defined as a modern mom who is confident, in control and well informed. These moms are hungry for information and spend many hours reading and learning about parenting and their offspring. They work extremely hard and are great at multi-tasking. They are “hands-on women determined to get it right with their children and not lose themselves in the process”. Advertisers love these moms. This mom is also known as “uber-mom” depending on your point of view. This mom loves the traditions of her mother/father and has firm views of parenting. (Most of the time she likes to share these views with you – in the nicest possible way of course). From what I understand these are the mommys most likely to sit on the PTA or become “soccer-moms”.

Another caregory is the HIPPIE Mom. This type of mom is “generally characterized by her global viewpoints, eco-consciousness, and an all out organic obsessiveness. This mom is full heartedly the first one to argue that it’s nearly child abuse if you choose not to breastfeed, or that you’re going to somehow harm your child if you feed them non-organic squash. These moms can generally be spotted a mile away, as their spawn are nearly always attached to them via sling. Upon closer inspection, these moms may be vegans or vegetarians.”

I think, deep down, this is the kind of mom I aspire to be. But, I was always destined for other things…

Then we have the SLACKER (or Beta) mom. A slacker mom is (apparently) the opposite of the uber mom. “Wikipedia defines slacker as characterized by a static, unenthusiastic air manifesting in an apparent lack of effort. It’s not to say that she lacks as a mother — rather she slacks off from the stereotypical mothering role. This specific mom can generally either be spotted by her alternative dress style, general opposition to anything relative to the “norm”, or just a flat out disinterest in anything typical”.

This is where I come in. I won’t deny that I started out my mommydom as a fully fledged Alpha Mom, (with a generous dose of hippie mom). I had all the books. Did all the courses. Read all the magazines (even had subscriptions). Colour co-ordinated my child’s room. Did.all.the.right.things. But somewhere along the way I have morphed into a slacker mom. Dave will tell you that it is just my true nature shining through.I am no longer concerned about correct degrees of stimulation. I don’t really care how much sugar or salt he has. It’s never an excessive amount anyway. As far as I am concerned coco-pops are the best invention ever. So are Woolies Mac & Cheese and 2-minute noodles. So are Tellytubbies and Barney. Left up to me bath time would be “sometime in the evening when I feel like it” – luckily the kid has a Dad whose second name is routine. I have never child-proofed my home. I prefer it if he is left to wonder and entertain himself. Now I don’t care if the t-shirt is dirty. Or if the socks don’t match. I don’t read the books or the magazines anymore.

Finally we have the MARTYR mom. The “Random Acts of Motherhood” blogspot define these moms as follows: “These are the moms who are always first and foremost on the home front of every feminist battle. They are always the first to throw themselves into the flames, if that means they can get a little sympathy. These moms do everything for the greater good of their children, and generally think it’s a sin to steal any time away for them self. This mom generally has a disheveled appearance, as it would take time away from her family to dress in anything more than sweats and a ratty old PTA t-shirt. It is well noted that these moms are always the first to let everyone know how devoted they are to their children. These moms will also be the first ones to have a late-life meltdown when they experience empty-nest syndrome. This mom has essentially sacrificed her own identity and replaced with the title ‘mom’.”

Oops… I have my moments as a Martyr Mom too…

So, to sum it up. I started out as an Uber-Alpha Mom. With a good splash of Hippie. Then somewhere along the way I realised I was becoming a Martyr Mom so I rebelled, (because I do the rebelling thing so well!) and I transitioned into a Slacker mom. But the “slacker” title sounds terrible so I will go with Beta Mom if that’s okay with you?! Does this make me a bad mom? I don’t think so. It makes me a happier mom.

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3 Responses to “Just call me Slacker…”

  1. Family Life May 22, 2008 at 6:38 am #

    I think I am a bit of everything…
    I think from a psychological point of view you don’t just become a mother once your child is born. It is a huge event in your life and changes everything so you can never really be prepared for it. So the role of ‘mother’ evolves as you grow into it. I think it is always best to do what you are comfortable doing, not trying to fit into any ‘labels’ or ideals, and make the style of mothering uniquely your own. In a way though I do think the way that a woman mothers is a reflection of her personality and the way that she does most things in life.

    Oh and perhaps “laid back mom’ is a better title than ‘slacker mom’?…

  2. Sue May 22, 2008 at 7:18 am #

    Too many people try to be too perfect. I think the main focus in being a parent should be to enjoy our kids as much as possible from the moment they enter this world. To love them unconditionally. And, obviously educate them along the way too… I don’t agree with giving up on your own life entirely, but kids do change your identity (and your heart) forever. I couldn’t imagine not wanting to be a mom. Anyway, I think it’s healthy for moms and kids to have a happy balance between all these types you’ve listed. We just have to find a good title for it. Maybe Caroline’s “Laid Back” is a good one. And I think you’re a wonderful mom and Adam’s a lucky boy to have you!! Imagine if you and Dave were both strictly into routines…

    XXX

  3. purpleronnie May 22, 2008 at 7:23 am #

    Oooh I so dont like any of these categories.. aren’t there more? Please! I agree with above – I really wouldn’t want to be identified in some pigeonhole way. I think that moms do the very best they can and moms love their babies and want the best for them.

    Oh, and I think you are a much better mom than you give yourself credit for.

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